The Problem of Being Gay in Cuba

Warhol P

HAVANA TIMES – He who is gay is gay: and nothing will make us change our preference, much less trying to vary our tastes to please our family or society. I, at least, have always fought back against those who didn’t accept my condition.

Being gay is a desire or sensation that arises from within, and that’s something difficult to change.

I believe that no other person should interfere with or repress such inclinations. Our life is our own, and as long as we don’t harm any other person, all is well. That a man should feel love or idolatry for another man is something that I don’t consider an aberration, much less a mortal sin.

But, of course, that’s my point of view. I think that way because I’m gay and I’ve experienced in my own flesh the results of my obvious homosexuality.

The person who isn’t gay, nor has a family member with these traits, thinks very differently.

Many still maintain the false idea that we’re sick, that we don’t have the same feelings as other people. And for another large segment of society the possibility of feeling love in a union of two men or two women is seen as shocking.

I’ve known many people, generally heterosexual men, who feel repulsion when they see a person who is too openly gay.

In the course of my life, there have been many men, supposedly heterosexual, who have spit in front of me to display their aversion, homophobia and motiveless hatred.

When a gay person is mentioned, the great majority of heterosexuals that I’ve worked with see them as crazy, or refer to them with the popular nickname “little birds”.

When I worked for the State, many of my female co-workers would consult me to request sexuality classes. Apparently, for them a gay person by virtue of being gay must be a student of the Kamasutra and know all about such things, since, of course, they don’t see you as a normal person but as an utter madman.

Many gay men are not considered gay in the eyes of society because they simply deceive people. They have heard the comments made around them about homosexuals, and because of this they prefer to remain anonymous.

Averse to confronting their families and society, they choose to lead a double life, which not only damages them, but also affects other people.

In the case of my partner, at the moment I don’t even know if he’s my partner, or my ex: those who read my post “Love in times of indifference” [www.havanatimes.org/?p=103162] are by now acquainted with the events.

As it happens, following the unexpected rupture, that person hasn’t stopped calling me on the phone, he recently came over to visit me, and we’ve done some very bad things, for which I perhaps won’t be allowed into heaven when I die.

He’s told me with tears in his eyes that he still loves me, and that he can’t live without seeing me, hearing my voice, or touching me.

But he alleges that he can’t live with me because he doesn’t want his family to know that he’s with a man. So, once more my homosexuality is a problem, and I don’t know if the problem is his or if it belongs to a society which at this point in the game isn’t capable of understanding that differences exist and will continue to exist forever.

Many many people like him, deceive their women and children with a double life.

In my opinion, when you’re gay, you’re gay. Even if we try to fool ourselves, the desire to be with a person of the same sex will always be present in our minds.

The most important thing is to know that however roughly society may treat you; your life is your life. Let it be known – there’s only one life; or, if others exist which is certainly possible, at least in this one you should live well with yourself and accept yourself as you are.

If others don’t accept us, that’s not a problem we should take on as our own, but rather, it’s their problem. Don’t you agree?