Shameful Incidents

Rosa Martínez

HAVANA TIMES — I’ve heard that shame is popularly known as the “secret” or “hidden” emotion. We’ve all experienced the feeling at one point in our lives, an episode we do not wish to share with anyone, not even our closest friends.

When I speak of an embarrassing episode, I am not referring to a public faux pas or, as they say in Cuba, “sticking one’s foot in it.” I am not referring to underdressing for an important party or tripping and falling in front of other people (even though such episodes do tend to make most of us blush).

I am specifically referring to actions we provoke, and about which we feel ashamed, angry or remorseful.

This happens with parents who hate the mistreatment of children; because they were victims of it, but who, on certain occasions, end up provoking it. It is also the case with men raised in a violent environment who, unable to get their wives to understand them or do as they want, deal blows that end up hurting them more than they do their partners.

The world is made of such shameful situations. Our souls are full of self-inflicted pain.

There’s an excuse for everything. I personally cannot find a proper excuse for yelling at a peanut vendor when he tried to hard sell me his product, even though I was stressed and in a hurry at the time.

After the incident, and regretting it, of course, two friends tried to calm me down saying that the reason was the many financial problems we average people have and cannot overcome, note even by working eight hours a day and doing honest and quality work.

I don’t think that not having a dime, not even enough to buy half-decent bread, not knowing what to do to buy a pair of shoes for one’s kids, not being sure you’ll be able to put food on the table for your family the next day, and many other stressful situations we experience every day, is an excuse for mistreating anyone.

One can be frustrated, sad, in a bad mood and who knows what else. What you shouldn’t do is vent your anger on someone who has nothing to do with your problems, true?