Attractions, Surprises, Deceptions

Irina Pino

From the Sex and the City sitcom.

HAVANA TIMES – Associations happen when we identify with events that formed a part of our own life experience, or a nearby experience that has had an impact on us.

Well, it just so happens that I was watching the famous US TV sitcom Sex and the City for the second time and I began to analyze my own thoughts on sex and the way I have accepted it in my life. In one episode, they were talking about a “sex buddy”, someone who you only need to have orgasms, as their company otherwise might not lead to anything else, as well as being boring.

This has happened to me many times: I can only have sex with these people as there isn’t any feedback and I just end up talking to myself. Other times, I have to listen to nonsense and empty words. And that’s because the intellectual level of both people involved should be quite similar if they want to understand each other, it’s what makes two people have common ground at least.

I won’t deny that I have had these “sex buddies” that are necessary at some points in your life. I had one who hardly ever left the house, and when I invited him to the theater, he gave me a flat out “no”, saying that Cuban theater was dead and that he would prefer to stay with me and give me oral sex. I must admit that he was quite the expert in that subject, but you can’t just live off of sex and bread.

I got tired of seeing him and of him just giving me lunch and good orgasms.

There is also the case of intellectual men who make you go weak at the knees with their wisdom but then when it comes to having sex, they are a real disaster: they are impotent, ejaculate prematurely, have bad breath or don’t hit the spot.

The thing is there are all kinds of guys and you have to do quite a bit of exploring to find this out. It’s often the case that physical appearance, the stimulus we have in front of us, doesn’t satisfy our eyes, but, when your bodies get close to each other, chemistry makes sparks go flying.

I’ve also had the experience of being with men who I liked physically, but completely let me down when it came to having sex. Some because they were really bad, and others because of things like the size and texture of their penises.

Meanwhile, the complete opposite has happened with ugly guys: they have pleased me and sent me into extasy.

If their kiss, scent and caresses are pleasurable, it’s a good sign for the beginning.

I watched a documentary about an experiment with a group of people in which they said that bodies are attracted to each other by the pheromones they emit.

I remember there was this one guy who I loved because of his intelligence, we would speak for hours on end about art, but it was a shame because I wasn’t attracted to him in the slightest. I wanted him to just be my friend, but he insisted on having sex with me and asked me all the time.

We did in the end: I let him give me an orgasm, fantasizing that he was someone else.

I guess that nobody should hold onto stereotypes, because they often play tricks on us. In my opinion, there has to be an array of things that stir desire in you for your expectations to be met.

Irina Pino

Irina Pino: I was born in the middle of shortages in those sixties that marked so many patterns in the world. Although I currently live in Miramar, I miss the city center with its cinemas and theaters, and the bohemian atmosphere of Old Havana, where I often go. Writing is the essential thing in my life, be it poetry, fiction or articles, a communion of ideas that identifies me. With my family and my friends, I get my share of happiness.