The Curse of Adrian Lyne

By Irina Pino

HAVANA TIMES – I have to admit that I like Adrian Lyne’s movies, especially Fatal Attraction with Glenn Close and Michael Douglas. I’m sure many of you have seen it, where the femme fatale harasses a married man because she doesn’t want him to leave her, after having had passionate sex with him.

When the man says no more, she resorts to violent acts like kidnapping his daughter and boiling a rabbit, his daughter’s pet, in a pot. It’s a very ugly scene, especially because I’m against animal abuse.

But we’ve all stayed in a love relationship, even when it’s a pain in the ass and made our object of desire loathe us. This happens and it’s normal, more or less…

After two decades, Lyne made Deep Water, which wasn’t released when it was supposed to because of the pandemic and was released now in 2022.

It’s an erotic thriller with Cuban actress Ana de Armas and Ben Affleck. Two actors I’m not fond of, and even so I ventured to the Charles Chaplin movie theater, in Vedado, to see what the 9½ Weeks director’s latest production is about.

I can tell you I was completely disappointed, it’s an awful movie with erotic scenes in bulk, and suspense that doesn’t work and is even silly.

When the feature movie ended (a torture that I had to endure for over 2 hours), I came out cursing, and telling everyone who crossed my path that it was definitely the worst movie Adrian Lyne ever made, and an embarrassment for his fans.

Walking home, I went down 12th and 23rd Streets, and that’s when it began to rain. I immediately sought shelter in a doorway. A few minutes later, the rain turned into a full-blown storm, with strong gusts of wind and a downpour, like the Great Flood. Only there wasn’t a Noah’s Ark.

Three hours in a doorway bored and losing it, I discovered that the building was the office for Animal Wellbeing. The guard constantly puffed on a cigar that suffocated me. I hate smoke.

I took a look around, the place had dirty and ragged furniture, without fans. The man told me he had to bring his own fan, and a radio to listen to the news. He constantly complained about his precarious wages and his poor working conditions.

Between smoke and small talk, I wanted to escape that never-ending complaining, and decided to leave while it was still drizzling. I started walking in the middle of the street, but then I had the idea to walk on the sidewalk and I slipped, hitting the same knee I’d hurt in an accident back in 2019.

Intense pain shot through me. and the impact left me with two cuts, but I quickly cleaned it up as I had alcohol to disinfect my hands with.

I hobbled in pain. I walked many blocks until I crossed the tunnel on 5th Avenue, which was partially flooded.

I was already in my neighborhood by some miracle, what a relief! But things didn’t start getting easier then, as the corner on Cero and 3rd Streets was flooded, so I had to walk around it along 1st Street to reach my building.

A warm bath, ibuprofen and an ice pack helped for a few minutes. I’d later have the Odyssey of my knee.

But I kept on thinking about the stupid idea I had to go and watch that terrible Adrian Lyne film, and then have to endure his vengeance. I looked at my knee in shock, it was ugly and swollen, it looked like a melon.

To be continued…

Read more from Irina Pino’s diary here.