On Being Alone in Cuba

By Xiomara Reinoso Gómez

HAVANA TIMES — A romance may help dispel my sorrows…if it managed to awaken any illusions in me, that is. I’m not too sure it could, not because of my age but because of the disappointments I’ve suffered in life. I would have to give it a try. The problem is that the very few people available are part of my past, water under the bridge, as they say.

I know women who are older than I am and still manage to get their hopes up about relationships, but they have a hard time finding a partner. Women who stay in shape and attractive, even those who are much younger than me, are in the same situation. Men walk by, look at you, look at you again, but that’s as far as it goes. They know that, to hook up, they need to at least invite you to have a beer, and a beer costs 1 CUC (or 25 Cuban pesos). Too rich for an ordinary Cuban’s blood.

If they invite you somewhere, they aren’t going to be so ridiculous as to buy you a beer and get nothing for themselves. They’re going to have one themselves, which would be 2 CUC or 50 pesos. If that person earns 500 pesos a month, which isn’t even enough to buy food for the month, how can they be expected to spend it all in a few minutes? I have the impression most people head out to the street with a calculator in their pockets.

I am only speaking of a fling or adventure. You can scratch out marriage altogether. No one wants to have that responsibility. Even if the woman in question is a hard-working person, next to no one wants to risk marriage.

As for me, I never liked marriage. Everything is nice at first, but, after a while, it’s like two corpses in the same grave.

Not all women think this way. Some get used to that kind of life. I would rather be alone in my tomb and, if a fling comes along (unlikely), come to life for a few hours.

While time passes, I will continue to listen to romantic music alone. At least it makes me feel like I still have a heart.