One Small Ant Step Forward

Erasmo Calzadilla

With this diary entry I want to contribute something to the rebirth of the culture of psycho-travel, which has been eclipsed by puritanism, fear of the unknown and rationality transformed into blindness.

Psycho-travel is, as its name indicates, a psychic “trip.”  Some people associate it with hallucinations and drugs, but since what is called “reality” is the result of interpretation, then there is no other alternative than to admit that we are always psycho-traveling.

Among all the various types of psycho-travel, I will refer to those that explore unknown areas of our minds and that wake us up from innocence to become self-aware psycho-travelers.  The fuel for such a tour is provided by certain “substances” or special physical activities; others can be pursued without these.

A psycho-travel mediated by entheogens is not a morbid state in which we confuse hallucinations with reality.  It more closely resembles a mental storm that breaks from our psychic structure to overturn our firmest convictions and even the idea that we have of our identity.

At first glance this seems fatal, and it could wind up being so if one is not prepared, however only after the collapse do the doors give way to such an incredible world (from this side) — one that is so intimate and wonderful — that the novice will usually wonder how it had been possible that they had lived unaware to it until that moment.

So that panic does not paralyze us, we need to realize that disorientation is part of the allure of a psycho-journey; but if the demolition is too drastic, we will not be able to find the way back for a moment, for a while or perhaps ever.  Therefore, it is dangerous to consume “substances” with too much power or in high dosages; these get us so high that it becomes difficult to manage coming down…

It also usually occurs as a consequence of the psychic frenzy or storms that mature quickly in certain areas of the mind while these are delayed and straggle behind in others. Therefore, upon our return we feel wistfulness for having lost our innocence, and the fear (which is not groundless) of not reverting into the same person.  Once back, familiarizing ourselves with entheogens can help us land as close to the “runway” as we want.

Though not wishing to over-explain myself, I believe that the best (at least the less dangerous) way to explore our own “I” (toward the point of merging with what is not “me”) is through small, recurrent, enjoyable and not at all traumatic excursions.  In this way the traffic in both directions becomes something so natural and everyday that the borders themselves gradually vanish, but in a controlled and gentle way.