The Comment that Stumped Me
HAVANA TIMES – I had just set up my bookstand on the sidewalk when some inspectors came around and told me I couldn’t be there. Since I don’t have a license – in other words I’m illegal – I can’t argue. So I asked them in my politest tones where I could set out my books without causing problems. They told me: “across the street”.
“That’s fine,” I said, “I’ll go there with my books.” The problem with that location is that the sun beats down there with all its energy.
I set up again, although obviously fewer people pass by there, since it’s right on the sunny side of the sidewalk. But I remained serene, bowing to the authorities and to my karma with a “no problem” mentality.
Among the very scarce people who went by – there are always some who go by all the stalls, even if they’re directly in the sun – was a man who asked me: “Why are you here, and not over in a better location?”
I answered him: “Because the inspectors won’t let me. They told me I could sell my books over here, on this side.”
The good gentleman responded: “If Fidel Castro were alive, this wouldn’t happen.”
It was meant as a kind remark, and that’s how I understood it, but I didn’t know whether to laugh or burst into tears at his reply. If Fidel Castro were alive this wouldn’t happen?!?!? I repeated the remark to myself over and over, without knowing what to do about it. What to say.
I didn’t argue, in the same way I didn’t challenge the inspectors. This time, not because of issues with the law, but because I felt an absurdity as large as the universe open up, and I can’t throw myself into that abyss.
That moment passed, and that day. Another day came, when I was visiting a friend. In the middle of our conversation, I recalled that exchange and told him the story. He said: “It’s not possible that such a response still exists in Cuba! Look – I turned the living room of my house into a barber shop, so my son could work. Among the people who were waiting, one came out in defense of the Comandante. I was nearby and I heard him. I said ‘Get out of my house immediately! Right now.’ Later, my son told me: ‘Papa, you can’t kick out my customers.’ I answered: ‘You can’t talk shit in my house.’”
This time, I had to laugh. Most of the people I know agree about this topic, but I don’t know if they’re as drastic as he is. At the same time, I’m sure there are more opinions on this island about the figure of the Comandante (we never had a president and a government, I believe, but a kind of alpha male guerilla monarchy), opinions regarding whether he’s responsible or not for this chaos that’s lasted for over half a century. Those judgements tinted by indulgence surely exist, while some others simply have no compassion for the wounds, even deaths, that were caused. There will be more than one discussion raging about this. There already are.
This could very well have been my Cuban friend who said that: “If Fidel Castro were alive, this wouldn’t happen.” First, he is an intelligent, multilingual, and well-read man who enjoys books across a wide range of authors, languages, and subjects. Second, he has said those exact words to me before. I was dumbfounded. He understands the situation in Cuba – he lives it – and he has openly criticized the current regime for its complete failure to provide even the most basic goods and services.
Yet, I never argue with him when he says such things. What would be the point? To believe that Fidel’s presence would somehow have made things better is irrational. Castro died only nine years ago, and were things any better then? Hardly.
A comment like, “If Fidel Castro were alive, this wouldn’t happen,” reveals just how deeply brainwashed the Cuban people were, and still are. The Castro regime robbed them not just of material goods, but of the very ability to recognize that they are living under one of the worst systems on Earth. Many no longer know what they don’t know, cannot imagine what they don’t have, and seem to have lost even the dream of a better future.
It’s heartbreaking. The same indoctrination persists today, fueled by the lingering legacy of the Castro-fascists and by support from modern dictatorships like Russia and Venezuela.
Why do Cubans, especially older ones, still whisper when they want to say anything even slightly negative about Fidel Castro? Older Cubans stroke their chin (some younger people too) when they want to say Fidel without saying it.