To emigrate or not to emigrate (1)

By Erasmo Calzadilla

 My friend Lester has repeatedly encouraged me to fly.  Photo: Caridad
My friend Lester has repeatedly encouraged me to fly. Photo: Caridad

I met Lester at the university. He was a typical small town boy who’d been brought up enshrouded in the Catholic tradition of his hometown of San Antonio-a town in rural Havana Province.

Except for perhaps his love of rock, Lester accommodated perfectly to what was expected of him, despite the fact that quite a few students at the university took advantage of the distance from their parents to become defiant and nonconformist.

During those years of the economic crisis in the wake of the collapse of the socialist bloc, there occurred something unprecedented in our faculty. Little by little “distilled” students from each class began to get together. When I speak of being distilled, I’m referring to those who didn’t easily fit into the atmosphere of normality so commonplace in the pharmacy faculty.

In any case, there ended up being so many of us-and so many of us who were active-that we actually changed the tone of our environment for a few years.

As for me, who had been kind of a loner up until that time, for the first time I enjoyed knowing what it was to be part of a group of good people who cared for each other and who accepted each other as they were. It was a completely new awakening to social life. The group was also a stimulus in the face of the displeasure of having to study for a profession that I couldn’t stand, and the reason I didn’t abandon it.

Upon graduation, these friends of mine began to emigrate. Today almost all of them have remade their lives in Chile, from where Lester (who was one of them) has been inviting me insistently.

I once tried to make that leap, but the embassy denied me a visa. The anguish of someone who wants to emigrate and doesn’t make it struck me so hard that for a while I couldn’t stand anyone broaching that subject with me. Then a period of resignation set in.

Now, as each day passes I’m adapting better and thinking less of flight. Every day it hurts a little more to think about leaving my grandmother, knowing that since her health has begun to decline she’s going to need me that much more.

Every day the background theme music of the TV news bothers me a little less, and I’m better able to tolerate the sportscasters’ voices, which is one of the things I hate most about my routine existence. Plus, every day I get more excited about doing something to change the things from here.

Recently, Lester invited me to Chile again, and by the way he explained it, it doesn’t seem impossible that they’d approve the request. To tell the truth, though, I don’t have much desire to leave, but on the other hand I don’t want to miss the chance to experience a different country, nor the strange opportunity of living off my salary for the first time.

I could take advantage of the opportunity to join my friends, who want to form some kind of community there. For a few years it would be ideal, and in that way I could financially help the older ones in my family who are now going into retirement. Likewise, perhaps in passing I could find a way to perpetuate my genes, which in Cuba has turned out to be a difficult task, and the years continue passing by.

My dream would be to return home with enough money to build a house far from the city, but not too far; to live close to my parents, but not too close; and to be able to take in a friend or two from here who don’t have a place to stay, or who don’t feel comfortable where they are.

Nonetheless, even if I decided to give it a try it would take around a year to realize it, time I could take advantage of to continue my battles here.

Erasmo Calzadilla

Erasmo Calzadilla: I find it difficult to introduce myself in public. I've tried many times but it doesn’t flow. I’m more less how I appear in my posts, add some unpresentable qualities and stir; that should do for a first approach. If you want to dig a little deeper, ask me for an appointment and wait for a reply.

5 thoughts on “<em>To emigrate or not to emigrate (1)</em>

  • Still Senor Calzadilla,
    The choice must be yours, i feel you my brother however, believe this no matter what your decisions are….CUBA WILL STILL BE THERE.. AND IT WILL ALWAYS WELCOME YOU BACK.. CUBA ERES NUESTRAS PAIS..SIEMPRE FIDELIS! Perhaps, the time has comne for a looksee, there is a spirit within all of us which needs to fly like an eagle..Do what your mind tells you..Just dont forget home.


  • The days of cooking are done they are all better at Arroz y carne than i am (i am a veggie by choice). The days of baby sittilng( i have 12 nietos/nietas ) i don’t even!!! want to think about that at all. i am still healthy still love to bailar, and have a ton of associates both in Cuba, and here in the US.. However, fhere is one thing that keeps my head. directed to it is my home. and even though have been gone for 48 yrs, still have Los Munequitos de Matanzas, (my family in Cuba) and i believe perhaps wrongly so..that Cuba is about to be transformed, and that perhaps..we will not have to throw the old oak tree out with the willow..I guess, that i still believe, and that is why i went home illegally 50 times in 48 yrs..CUBA VA

  • i gues you guys can always depend on me..huh lol

    Well this is a subject that really has me a bit confused as well (my words) even though you Senor, did not say that you were confused. Having said that, lets not venture away from that fabulous word..EMIGRATE! I also want to emigrate, and have a few choices, Africa, Spain, Trinidad, Puerto Rico England the Netherlands and of course Cuba..
    Now before you frown lol!!My children, all seven sons are living in one of those places and they have constantly asked for thier madre’s prescence, albeit like yourself i do not want to be that close. The days of ruling the home are done..they can do that themselves.

  • Additionally….

    Do not spend your time anymore in trials and fights with other proffesors and the system. That’s a lost battle in advance. Do not let them fool you, do not try to ride that bicycle without chain.

    You are smarter than this.

    I understand and respect all those very romatic comments from abroad, because they do not know how all the “mechanism” works.

    Time irreversibly continues passing by … wake up.

    I greatly wish that you can read my comments. Good luck.

  • Your dream sounds simple but it is quite difficult to achieve. You better take the advantage of the opportunity to join your friend. You will have a better life and you will be able to help your parents about to retire, unfortunately you will not be close to them. As you can see, in this moment cubans can not have everything they want in life, and they have to choose what to do…if staying or leaving……
    Many can not have have your choice.
    Once abroad you will see other things, you’ll have your life, and as cuban citizen you will be able to comeback when you decide that things are better for you. However, if you stay in Cuba you will continue your fight againts a mountain, wasting your time and your life.
    You decide.

Comments are closed.