The Satyr Pan

By Caridad

The Satyr Pan Attempts to Seduce Olympus. Photo: Mharrsh
The Satyr Pan Attempts to Seduce Olympus. Photo: Mharrsh

He’s just like him, just like the satyr Pan, complete with a smile, wine and a cute paunch that he likes to maintain. However, he’s never played the flute … or any other musical instrument.

Tato is the owner of a few pigs and a handful of goats-and in Havana, that’s something.  However, it’s still not as much as he’s always wanted; like the chains he wears around his neck, which appear to be made of silver, but they aren’t.

Likewise, the women that he usually has around are-like his chains-fakes.  At least that’s what he tells the goats and pigs, when he’s in the mood to converse with them.

I believe it was a ram that told me about Tato’s problem. Although it’s probable that at some moment I myself have listened to the confession of satyr Pan, bottles of wine between us.

Satyr Pan is as enormous as Goliath, but with David’s penis.

Not all men are like Julio Iglesias’s son, admitting to the world the extraordinary minuteness of their sexual organ, and without even blushing.

A good part of the men in Cuba, whether they admit it or not, grant more importance to the size of their penis than the roundtable could have to King Arthur.

And Tato-strong, tall and passionate for all types of women-has never understood why nature betrayed him like this.

Nor have some of the women that he’s been with ever understood. In fact, they’ve felt cheated and have treated him like what he is: a fraud.  Without giving him time to demonstrate what sexologists, Europeans and good lovers never get tired of repeating-size is not so important.

Almost never.

Neither Tato nor the women he’s cheated believe that tale. The image, the appearance, the fetish has a lot of weight.

And it’s incredible how fetishistic we are here.

It’s such that poor Tato has found no other remedy than retaliating against those so-demanding women, allowing them to only sleep with him for a single night.

I recall hearing a sow say (or perhaps it was Tato himself on a night with abundant wine present) that there was indeed a woman who slept with him more than one time. It seems it was to put him to the test.

He is sure that she had some hidden agenda, so he retaliated by slapping her around. This went on until one night she admitted he was both a very bad lover and didn’t even know how to give a good slap.

He can’t be blamed having been so unjustly treated by nature (which surely is female), if at least it had made him less handsome…That isn’t understood by his nephew, who shaves his legs, plucks his eyebrows, spends hours in front of the mirror and has a penis even more microscopic than Tato’s.

The nephew can have the prettiest girl in the neighborhood, disappear into the bedroom for hours and hours, and then we look at him as if he were the most masculine man in Havana.

And Tato knows it’s just not so.


Caridad: If I had the chance to choose what my next life would be like, I’d like to be water. If I had the chance to eliminate a worst aspect of the world I would erase fear. Of all the human feelings I most like I prefer friendship. I was born in the year of the first Congress of the Cuban Communist Party, the day that Gay Pride is celebrated around the world. I no longer live on the east side of Havana; I’m trying to make a go of it in Caracas, and I continue to defend my right to do what I want and not what society expects of me.

3 thoughts on “<em>The Satyr Pan</em>

  • Nice article again you ave not missed your calling. i am still here in Cuba, and it looks like i will stay for as long as i can..Plus there is no need to return stateside yet..I am; and it sure is nice. Spanish is still perfect, and i never pass up the chance to continue to dance sing and play an instrument.

    Thanks again

  • Maybe “Tato” should purchase a (or fashion his own) “strap on,” like “Brandon Teena” a.k.a. “Teena Brandon,” in the Academy Award winning film, “Boys Don’t Cry,” (based on a true story of a Nebraska teen in the 1990’s)! Of course, thanks to the gender identity issues of his male “friends,” “Brandon”/”Teena” did not come to a good end. “Tato” will not necessarily arrive at the same fate. The way he is going, however, with all those one-night-stands and sado-masochism, it appears like his fate could be as grim: loneliness and despair! Sounds like he’s creating his own private hell. Wonder why?

  • Yordanka Caridad, Tato

    I enjoyed this article and its Candor. I am a very healthy 80, who will be learning Spanish 5 days a week at the Spokane Falls Community College in September.

    At 80 I have the ability to focus and do the things that I like to doing the Best.
    I already have 6 children and 17 grandchildren, so learning more Spanish is one of my goals.

    Perhaps some day we will meet in Cuba

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