How To Forget Cuba in Three Tries
The complex thing here is that it is not about forgetting a person, but about removing an entire country from your bones, from your liver.
By Yunior García Aguilera (14ymedio)
HAVANA TIMES – Those who have had a toxic relationship desire with all their soul to be able to say: it’s over, a clean slate. However, I wish forgetting were so simple! It usually happens that the more you try to leave behind that story that hurts you, the more you remember it. To get your ex-partner out of your head, there are dozens of manuals. The complex thing here is that it is not about forgetting a person, but about removing an entire country from your bones, from your liver.
No supermarket sells the famous Coca-Cola of oblivion. Even those who claim to have taken it often have relapses. I have met several compatriots who swear to me: “I had disconnected from Cuba, compadre, until (the protests of) July 11 or November 27, 2021.” That means, that, in reality, they had not forgotten. They had simply put Cuba on pause.
Some neurologists claim that the brain never forgets. The memories are still there, trapped in collections of neurons called “engram cells.” The illusion of forgetting occurs when the circuits that connect these sets are broken. It is as if a path leading to an intricate place were filled with grass. The place still exists, what we can’t find is the path.
I know of Cubans who keep their phones on Cuban time, even though they live in France. There are others who spend hours digging through Facebook, more aware of what is happening in Marianao than the Marianao residents themselves. It doesn’t matter if you have an Australian passport, you are probably aware of the relationship between Lazaro and Yarelis; or Fernando, the pianist from Guanabacoa; or the dismissal of Lisandra, the “Cuban Amy Winehouse.”
Some, with greater political awareness, are unable to sleep all night every time they arrest an activist, and wear out their brains thinking of a thousand ways to bring down the dictatorship. But, let’s be honest, even those of us most committed to the fight for democracy have, more than once, felt deeply disappointed and exhausted. Above all, when after so much misery and abuse, we see thousands of Cubans marching and shouting slogans, trying to defend the indefensible. That is why we read comments like: “Cuba has no remedy” or “the people have the dictatorship they deserve.”
Those who opt to turn the page avoid websites and profiles that remind them of that piece of land with more marabou bush weeds than palm trees. They try to get the algorithm to do its thing and send them different content. “You’re a masochist,” I am told all the time by a friend who has been successful, according to him, in tricking Zuckerberg and Elon Musk into getting the networks to show him news about Dubai, instead of talking to him all the time about Jatibonico, Cuba.
The second piece of advice from successful forgetters is to assimilate into their new context. I met a girl recently who has only been in Madrid for a couple of months and she is already more Spanish than Lola Flores. In a single sentence she is able to say vale (okay), tío (dude), hostias (damn it all), majo (nice), currante (hard-working) and even gilipollas (douchebag). The only problem is her spelling, the girl puts the Z wherever she wants. But I won’t be the one to judge her. She has her own reasons to prevent the Cuban from coming out of her pores. No Madrid cat will take her as a local, but she will heal the occasional wound.
The third and final step to hide Cuba in the drawer of amnesia is to achieve that abstract and idyllic condition of being a “citizen of the world.” It sounds great, the problem is achieving it. Let’s see… I myself am against chauvinism and it seems very ridiculous to me to try to fit “in a Spanish way” with the stereotypes of what they call Cubanidad. For me, being Cuban is a singularity, not an identity that functions as a straitjacket. But, if getting a single residency, a single citizenship, is already a hell of a bureaucratic hassle, then imagine achieving them all and declaring yourself cosmopolitan!
Despite everything, some claim to have cured themselves of Cuba using this formula: evasion, assimilation, universality. If for the sake of your mental health you think it is necessary to permanently bury the memory of the place where you were born, well… try it. But if you have already tried everything and Cuba is still beating in your brain, then, like me, you suffer from chronic Cubanitis. We have to continue doing everything possible and the impossible so that this beautiful land is a place worth remembering and where it is worth returning to… someday.
Translated by Translating Cuba.
I was in Cuba for only a weekend and was fascinated by the history and the architecture. The people were very friendly ( I’m not sure if it’s because they’re just normally that way or they knew I was an American with dollars) I actually had a travel agency to handle everything for me and stayed in a beautiful hotel and ate in nice restaurants the whole time. We only got to see small glimpses of what the Cuban people really have to deal with and it broke my heart but also inspired me because they are so resilient and so resourceful. I’m just so glad that I had found out some of the many things that Cubans do without and was able to take some donations. A friend of a friend’s cousin met me in Havana and we went out to eat and I was able to make sure that all of the stuff I brought went to people that truly needed it. I have since started learning to speak Spanish so someday I can go back and spend more time getting to know the people on a 1 on 1 basis and not just the history
I just got back from Havana on Sunday! I was born there but left in 1961 at the age of 7. I love the article because I can totally relate. I am almost 70, so completely raised in the US (and not in Miami). I will always feel Cuban in my heart. When speaking of Cuba and the hardships they phase, I choke up. It is a pain that nobody can comprehend. Losing one’s country is like feeling like you never really belong anywhere. I’ve traveled to Europe, South and Central America, as well as many other islands. I’ve lived in 7 years in NYC, 26 years in Miami and the last 28 years in North Carolina, but none of these make me feel like I’m from there. I will always be Cuban! I will always be from there and I will always hurt from losing my country.
What’s going on here is criminal .you all come for a week or two .they only want you to see havana or veradero holguin .they hope you never venture off the resorts. These beautiful people can’t say anything against there government. They have spot checks stopping them from from bringing anything province to province. These spot checks are every 50 km.they are scared to say anything .they are hungry. From Santiago to havana I was stopped 6 times.they shut the power off 3 times a day.they have know say in elections only yes I like or no I don’t like but never get to choose anyone. Havana has electricity because all government officials live there. And most of the population is there.many canteens now won’t even except 5 10 20 pesos they only except 100 or more.i have been here for almost 7 months don’t ask me why.i came for 5 went home to Canada and returned for 2.its so sad what I’m seeing. I get it they the government don’t like the usa and neither do I but come on this is a great country with good people .I only ask that thos government stops and takes a look at what they are doing. I’m sure the people in the government are eating and sleeping well.may karma fuck you all for being selfish you only care about yourself and your family. I hope one day as you starve these people more they wake up and come for you it’s only a matter of time .it’s time the usa comes and helps these people. Don’t the usa see there all leaving this could prevent all the illegal migration in the usa.come stop this dictatorship.
Mohamed, Yes, life is far worse in Canada and the United States than in Cuba, even with the embargo. There are actually some people in the United States and Canada that believe that. Some have visited Cuba and spent more money in a week than the average Cuban professional makes in 5 to 10 years. That’s why so many people from other countries are trying to move to Cuba and not the United States or Canada.
And since the US embargo has been in place for over 60 years, and probably won’t be repealed for another 60, Cubans should stop complaining about their great 65-year-old government and just be content blaming the US imperialists for all of their wonderful policies that can’t even produce half of the country’s basic food needs.
Meanwhile the young people will just silently vote with their feet.
I visited Cuba ten times and I still love to visit again.we have to blame the embargo the United States put on Cuba for more than sixty years which makes the country almost collapse. So if someone complains about cost of living in Cuba then it’s bad here in Canada and the USA. Everything expansii from food to house to gas to daily needs.
As tourists visiting Cuba we had no idea what a night mare it would be. We booked on line expensive Casa Particular in Matanza. We had rented vehicle but ran out of gas and could not buy. Every night the power went off 6-8 hours ascwell as the telephone line and the internet!
The mosquitos ate us alive. The water was off most days and no hot water. We had no candles or lamps so we sat in the dark listening to our two kids crying. Disgusting reality. We realized we were getting scammed by going to the Cuban bank to exchange money as the street exchange was 3x higher.
We could find much food to cook in the apartment we rented thus forced to mediocre restaurants that want us to pay in US dollars: they had two menus,; one for Cubans and one for us.
7 days and nights in hell! A huge disappointment for the ‘holiday of a lifetime’. We complained to immigration that we were disappointed and that we should get a refund as the rental unit had no water and electricity for hours on end. The response from immigration was: “If you do not like it leave Cuba”
So much for Cuban hospitality.
We will tell everyone we know about our experience and never go to Cuba again.