I’m Afraid of Trump

Cartoon: Chappatte in the Boston Globe

HAVANA TIMES – I’m afraid of Trump. Of Trump and his measures. Not his shoulder-to-shoulder measure, nor the circumference of his neck, but of everything that might occur to him while sleeping, if indeed he does sleep.

Trump is like the Minotaur, but in this case not half wild bull, but part man and part bad-humored carrot.

Trump is the man in the suit. More accurately, he’s the man in the three-piece suit and the red neckties. Trump is very irritable. More irritable than the angry birds of the famous video game and cartoons.

Trump takes measures, executive orders no less; that is, orders to be executed, and in passing executing the dreams and lives of many people in many parts of the world.

Trump says that while he’s in the White House, no other genders will be recognized in the United States other than man or woman; nor any other sort of strange thing invented by the leftist radicals.

Trump uses the term leftist radicals for very serious people, who would be considered right-wing radicals in a few of the world’s countries.

But Trump is that way, he likes to stick nicknames on the people and things he wants to stigmatize, so they later stay with them.

Trump likes to cut off funding, and, in general, cut everything he can. Apparently, in preschool he was an advanced child with scissors in hand, and thought, “one day I’ll cut up something bigger than little pieces of colored paper.” Trump’s not about clay or tearing paper or coloring the blank spaces with a crayon. Trump’s thing is cutting.

Trump doesn’t like immigrants. He says that the immigrants who entered the United States through the Mexican border even arrived to eat the dogs. It’s strange that Trump should say that, when the national food of the United States is hot dogs.

Trump doesn’t care if he appears machista, racist, xenophobic, homophobic, or if it’s clear he hates trans people. Trump is above all those things. And the last presidential elections made him even surer of himself. Trump is used to winning and continues to be a man with big claims of being literally above good and bad.

But he’s also a man in a hurry, which makes him a dangerous man. Or more dangerous still, I mean to say.

Trump has only four years to carry out all the villain’s deeds in a superhero movie. Superheroes don’t exist, but super-villains do, and they’re in power in a whole bunch of countries.

They say it’s occurred to Trump – or to some bad apple talking in his ear – to use the Guantanamo Naval Base to hold immigrants under investigation by the US government.

The only interesting aspect of this measure is that it would be the only way that Cuba could attract immigrants, because no one on God’s earth would emigrate to Cuba of their own free will.

Trump should be thrust into the deepest end of a cookpot and stirred well. Not him, but his bad intentions – you understand.

Or maybe deep in a freezer. Not him, but … well you already know.

I didn’t know that Trump could wield a machete, but he’s arrived at this presidency with the blade cut short, and he’s trimming too close to the ground. I hope he shortly begins to feel the blisters, because at this rate he’ll chop down both the weeds and the crops, and there’ll be nothing left to replant, or even a tree where you could tie the goat.

Trump is the companion who will take care of us. The real one. The one who will take care of the whole world. It’s not a joke. It’s the same to him to change the name of a gulf, as to grab a country, or steal a canal that joins two oceans.

Something should be done quickly, before this form of politics and doing everything is reproduced. Luckily, we Cubans are secure. We’re sure that everything is going to get worse in our country; that everything they say in the news in Cuba is part lie and part truth, mixed with sugarcane syrup, and that Trump can do a lot of damage. However, they’re already harming us from within, which is equally unjust and more disappointing.

First published in Spanish by El Toque and translated and posted in English by Havana Times.

Read more from Cuba here on Havana Times.

2 thoughts on “I’m Afraid of Trump

  • I think it is ungodly to have to makeup something good to say about him.

  • You nailed it.. yes this is one angry man of bloated tanned leathery face..
    Vindictive.. transitional… retaliatory…
    One day i tried to think of one kind thing to say about him .. because he is a child of God as we all are.. and should love our enemies.. Jesus commanded. Pray for them. This is so hard for me to do. Oh yes, about that 1 kind thing… … give me time .. maybe something will come to me.
    What really upsets me most is his continual flow of lies, …. it’s laughable that he wants us to spend millions on beefing up our border.. when a minuscule amount of fentanyl gets into US.. i worry about the guns flowing into Canada more.. most of us never knew drugs flowed into the US like they do from Mexico and the precursors from overseas nations like China.
    Unfair trade, imbalance of trade.. with us? We always got the short end of the stick from what i heard.. now we have “taken advantage of Goliath “ for decades?????
    and saying “Canadians would prefer to be 51st state” .. where does he get that idea from?
    And I don’t want to have my tax money buying up war machines, nuclear missiles , big drones meant carrying bombs.. whatever…. We are fine … because the day Canada is invaded .. bombed into submission is the day Tribulation and the rapture are upon us. I plan to be up with Christ by this time. So Mr Trump , (sorry but you do not and have not earned any respect from me to call you a president. ) .. we are unified, you have done that for us.. and wow, i now have a positive to say about you. You have unified Canada in a way like in 1967 and WW2.

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